The world can rejoice as this years series of The X Factor starts this Saturday. So say goodbye to nights out and hello to Gary Barlow, Tulisa, Louis Walsh and new judge Nicole Scherzinger (replacing Kelly Rowland). Along the way, we’ll see a wide variety of talent, as well as a collection of guest judges, including current pop starlet and general chart botherer Rita Ora, The X Factor’s own Leona Lewis and pop veteran and fan of sunglasses Anastacia. Anyway, to tide you over until Saturday, here are the nine (because there have been nine series – see not just a pretty face) funniest moments from the show that you may have forgotten about:
9. Nicole states the obvious
2010 was a good series wasn’t it. Not only did we get Cher Lloyd and Rebecca Ferguson, but we also got this gem of a critique from now-judge Nicole Scherzinger. In critique of one contestants questionable vocal stylings, Nicole states the obvious with her words ‘I think you could use some work on your vocals’. Amazing springs to mind. This would have been higher but they played the clip every week in the ‘coming up next week’ montage, as by the millionth week of auditions, it really lost it’s shine.
8. A young Vicky Pollard
Way back in the day, when the auditions were in a tiny room and Sharon Osbourne still had a firm place in the centre of the panel, these two women walked into the audition room. Dressed like they had just walked in from a holiday in Benidorm, these two girls got ripped into by the judges. Following on from the Vicky Pollard comparison, Simon and the other judges got their claws into these girls, before they eventually rejected them. The ‘you look like a stretch version of her’ comment was equally hilarious. Comedy gold.
7. The first audition for Emma
Despite Emma Chauner re-auditioning for the show many times, her original audition is still the best. From the dress that looks like it was bought from Curtains R Us to the awful rendition of the song, this audition only gets better when Emma’s mum enter’s the room. The ‘she’s won trophies’ comment only caps off this very funny audition. Having said all that, the hands-down funniest moment of this audition is her sisters haircut. ‘I tripped and seriously injured my fringe’ anyone?
6. Simon Cowell says sorry.
After Lorraine’s terrible audition, the Manchester Mauler aka Edna found her next victim in Simon Cowell. After a laugh from Mr Cowell, Edna lays into him with a good telling off. A few words later and the Mauler has him apologising. Wow. On the pop power continuum of Basic Bitch to God, Edna leapfroged Simon for a few moments to Beyonce levels of power. Who run the world? Edna.
Despite pulling out just before the live finals, Goldie Cheung was the best contestant on last years show. Although she had many hilarious moments, the best was definitely her cover of On The Floor by J Lo at Louis ‘home’. The performance itself was hilarious, but this was only topped of with her putting a scarf on Sinitta’s face. In the words of Louis, ‘that’s Goldie’.
4. What’s Bun ‘Nd Cheese?
Long before Little Mix were put together, this girlband were ‘slaying our lives’. Bun ‘Nd Cheese were named after the girls’ favourite food: a sliced bun with processed cheese (filling). Despite a sub-par cover of Listen by Beyonce (even their friends said it was shocking and disgraceful), Pinky, Patty & Peas will live on in our hearts and our stomachs. Is anyone hungry now?
3. Not the full package
Admittedly, performing on The X Factor stage is exciting. However, for Steve, it was a little too exciting. Initially the judges didn’t see his ‘party’, but an eagle eyed Louis Walsh noticed it. You have to feel sorry for Steve’s daughters, Monday morning must have been difficult. Anyway, cut to the end of the song, all the judges notice and Louis drops the ‘I don’t think you’ve got the full package’ line. Who doesn’t love Louis Walsh?
2. Who put that door there?
Apprentice jockey Dawn shocked the judges not only with her revelation that she was once a jockey, but also with her appalling rendition of Cherish by Madonna. So much so in fact that Louis and Sharon had to leave the table. As the hysterical pair left the room, Sharon walks into a door. This has to be repeated, Sharon walks into a door. Once poor Dawn starts her audition again, Dannii also becomes hysterical and has to leave. Hilarious stuff.
1. Ham sandwich anyone?
The funniest moment in X Factor history comes courtesy of court usher Betty Bryce. The sixty six year old lady came across originally as a sweet old lady. She even handed out ham sandwiches to other contestants. However once she got her fan out, she became a minx, singing a song about gang bangs. Even if it’s only funny in a ‘that’s someone’s Gran, I’m going to cry’ kind of way, it’s still by far the funniest moment in the history of the show.