Nicole Scherzinger has a new single. It’s called ‘On The Rocks’.
Here’s the cover:
Did the metal smell from her anklets rub off onto her hands? Does Nicole Scherzinger even put her own anklets on? Is there someone at Scherzinger HQ whose job it is to put her anklets on?
The ‘shot’ is in the forest. Did an exotic bird shit on her? Would an exotic bird dare shit on a popstar? Should popstars hire people for birds to shit on?
Does Nicole have hayfever? Perhaps the plants in the background have made her nose itch.
Has she just been told about Radio 1 snubbing ‘Your Love’? Maybe she was worried that being playlisted on Capital wasn’t enough to secure chart supremacy.
Did she saw foresee how shit the ‘On The Rocks’ was going to be and recoiled in disgust? At least you’re not The Saturdays, Nicole.
We will never know.