The 10 best names to have been read out by Peter Dickson

Peter Dickson has left ‘The X Factor’ *sadface*.

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‘The X Factor’ will never be the same again. To celebrate the eleven years, here are the 10 names which sound best read out by Peter.

10. Little Mix

One of the simpler names Peter has had to say, but ‘Little Mix’ sounds really good when he says it. I particularly like the emphasis of the ‘ix’. As with most of these names, he tends to emphasise syllable of the last word, which works well for Little Mix.

09. Fleur East

Admittedly, you don’t really get a much better popstar name than ‘Fleur East’ (not only does it sound good but it’s also ‘easy on the eye’). HOWEVER, the lack of syllables means that Peter can bellow it out, so it sounds even better than when a regular person says it.

08. Lady Gaga

Peter works well when a name has two identical consonants that are separated by a vowel. ‘Lady Gaga’ is the least effective of the bunch (they’re coming), but still, it sounds like he’s saying ‘LADY GAGARRRRRRRRRRGH’. I really like that.

07. Britney Spears

Much like ‘Fleur East’, ‘Britney Spears’ is so much of a popstar name that it sounds good said by anyone. But it sounds like Peter is leading the troops into battle when he says it. I imagine it would sound the same if he said ‘TOVE STYRKE).

[side note: imagine Peter saying ‘Nicki Minaj’. Would be slightly erotic).

06. Frankie Cocozza

The thing that the last three have in common is the strong ‘ARGH’ sound at the end of their names. Not only does Frankie’s have that, but it also has the ‘consonant-vowel-consonant-vowel’ pattern that Peter does so well. In other words, this is almost as good as porn.

05. Rita Ora

The fact that her name sort of (not really) rhymes helps things massively, but ‘Rita Ora’ just sounds so great when Peter says it. It makes me very sad that we’re never going to hear this again (plus ‘Nick Grimshaw’), but at least we have this, right?

04. Eoghan Quigg

Unlike most of the names so far, the sound that Peter says so well isn’t at the end. No, it’s the ‘iiiiiiiii’ sound in ‘Quigg’. It’s almost like a balloon going off. The balloon that contained Eoghan and Diana’s relationship, which also sadly ended in this semi-final :(.

03. Nicole Scherzinger

‘Nicole Scherzinger’ is great because, much like her career, there are lots of peaks and troughs for Peter to climb and abseil down. You’d assume ‘Scherzinger’ would sound better, but it’s the ‘-ole’ in ‘Nicole’ that I love the most. It’s nice that we were treated to this for two whole series, wasn’t it?

02. Rachel Adedeji

The one that needs no introduction: ‘Rachel Adedeji’ is the go-to name for anyone trying to do a Peter Dickson impression. And you can hear why: it just sounds so fucking good. ‘Adedeji’ should really be a word in the dictionary, let’s be honest. Also, how good was this wind-tunnel.

01. Sophie Habibis

Controversial potentially, but ‘Sophie Habibis’ is such a treat. You’ve got the ‘b’ plosives, the ‘beeeeeeeeeeeeeb’ syllable, and then the ‘eeeeeeeeeeeee’ sound in her first name. I really want to put this on loop and set it as my ringtone, tbh.

Peter Dickson: ily.

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. The Guyliner says:

    I agree about Rachel Adedeji being number 2. Although it is a masterpiece – much like the contestant herself – I fear it has suffered from being the one people remember the most. It’s the “go-to”. Maybe it’s because Rachel also had another defining X Factor moment, which was falling over on her way to greet Dannii when she was announced as her mentor. Today, the underdog truly wins.

    1. Matt Hooper says:

      Yes! And Rachel also pioneered the ‘bottom two haircut’, which is arguably more iconic than her name.

      1. The Guyliner says:

        My whole life has been spent thinking a ‘bottom two haircut’ would get me out of the bottom two.

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