This week’s X Factor theme is the vague ‘This Is Me’, which is songs that the contestants would release post show. Here are the songs that I’d force them to sing.
Mason Noise – ‘Can’t Feel My Face’ (The Weeknd)
Anything other than a 10/10 song will see Mason in the bottom two this week, and frankly he’s got too much promise to home in Week 1. Therefore, he should do the best male pop song of the year. Plus, I’d love to see this with choreo.
Seann Miley Moore – ‘Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart’ (Alicia Keys)
This is what I imagine a Seann Miley Moore single would sound like. Plus this ballad is criminally slept on and deserves an airing on prime-time television (if not, then ‘No One’ would be great too).
Che Chesterman – ‘Runnin” (feat. Beyoncé and Arrow Benjamin) (Naughty Boy)
Much like Seann, I can’t imagine Che ever doing a proper up-tempo, so here’s a ballad disguised as a banger. He’s a shoo-in for the final (read: the win) though, so could sing anything.
Louisa Johnson – ‘Should’ve Been Us’ (Tori Kelly)
Louisa is the British Tori Kelly, and as this is ‘This Is Me’ week, she should sing the best Tori Kelly song. Playing it safe in Week 1 also lets her have her ‘ET’/’Candyman’ moment in a few weeks time so…
Kiera Weathers – ‘Say Something’ (Karen Harding)
Kiera is in an odd position because she can’t sing as well as Lauren, and Louisa is a better popstar than her. Her voice suits dance music more than the other two though, so if she can dance, ‘Say Something’ should be her blueprint.
Lauren Murray – ‘Human’ – (Christina Perri)
This song should be the winner’s single. But until then, Lauren is good at singing ballads so should sing this one.
Bupsi – ‘Give It To Me Right’ (Melanie Fiona)
This song is the middle ground between pre-nasty Bupsi and the air-humping, ‘Pony’-singing Bupsi from Judge’s Houses. It’s criminal that this only went to #41, btw.
Anton Stephans – ‘Not My Father’s Son’ (from ‘Kinky Boots’)
I’ve never actually seen ‘Kinky Boots’, but I found this video of Anton doing ‘Not My Father’s Son’ is very good and exactly the kind of thing Anton should be doing.
Max Stone – ‘Chandelier’ (Sia)
I reckon Max is probably going to win, so let’s hope he does so with interesting song choices. I’d give him this version of ‘Chandelier’ from last week’s ‘Please Like Me’ because it’s my favourite television moment of the year.
Reggie N Bollie – ‘No Letting Go’ (Wayne Wonder)
Reggie N Bollie have very little chance of making it through this week, but I think the nostalgia of ‘Not Letting Go’ could make people vote. Failing that, ‘She Doesn’t Mind’ by Sean Paul.
4th Impact – ‘Problem’ (Ariana Grande)
This song is so perfect for 4th Impact. ‘Problem’ has enough range for the group, plus there is opportunity for an amazing production. Ideally, this would then lead to their final duet being ‘Focus’ with Ariana, with them all in cat ears.
Alien Uncovered – ‘Are You That Somebody’ (Aaliyah)
Alien Uncovered were a mess until Judge’s Houses, where they killed ‘Bad Girl’. I vote for them to continue performing throwback R&B, starting with the best Aaliyah song.